where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
