oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
