I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
