eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
