You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize