There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
