I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
