he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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