he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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