He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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