I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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