I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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