Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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