addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
