sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
