I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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