thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
