tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize