What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
