she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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