Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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