So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
