the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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