You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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