the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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