why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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