there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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