whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
