I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
