I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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