Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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