she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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