remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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