Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
