I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize