There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
