We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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