your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
