Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize