The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
