oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
