Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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