Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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