I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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