I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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