You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
