I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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