don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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