I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize