why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
