If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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