How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
