im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize