If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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