Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
