Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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