i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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