My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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