Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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