Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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