Plan B is the new Plan A
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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